This weekend I took a break from searching for an agent and the drive to get my own book published. Instead of "working", I sat and read a book written by another author.

     While doing some research at various online bookstores and distributors, I wrote down a list of some books from the Christian suspense/mystery category that were similar yet different from my own manuscript. This was done so I could present an "argument" to any agent or publisher who may tell me "Christian fiction doesn't sell" or "there's no market for crime novels with Christian themes". Perhaps I'll get around to writing a blog about Christian fiction in general at a later date.

     One book that caught my eye, was "The Shack" by Wm. Paul Young. I made a visit to the local Borders bookstore and bought the book. Some of you may have already read this book because it was first published in 2007. If you haven't read it, I highly recommend it. I'll allow you the pleasure of looking up the book for a more detailed description, but part of the description from the back cover states: "In a world where religion seems to grow increasingly irrelevant, THE SHACK wrestles with the timeless question: Where is God in a world so filled with unspeakable pain?"

     Although I disagreed with some of theology presented and/or the way it was presented, it's a great novel. It shows one man's struggle in dealing with the loss of a loved one, his distrust and near disbelief in God, and his struggle with figuring out who God is and how he works in ours lives. Through a wonderfully described spiritual experience, the man gets the answers to his questions. This is my description by what I got from reading the story; however, I think each reader will probably walk away with different views and opinions.

     If you've read the book or read it later, let me know what you thought about the plotline, the presentation, and/or what you learned from the story.

     Ok, so there's no Scripture passage which tells us God blesses boneheads, but I'm living proof it's true.

     So what makes me a bonehead? I went to work in a good mood which went drastically downhill. I was happy to be running the one machine until such time as the demons moved in and the machine started acting up. Ok, it wasn't possessed, but I'm sure you've often thought the same thing about some piece of modern technology you use. I responded badly. Words came out of my mouth that would make a sailor blush (as the saying goes). Not very Christian. By the time I got home, all I wanted to do was relax, check my emails and such, and then to work on my book proposal. Nope ... the plans changed as soon as I checked my email notifying me my cell phone bill was online. Next stop, my cell phone provider website. No way! This can't be! $126!!!! I called the cell phone company to talk to someone about the charges. Keep dreaming about making it through all those "push 1 for billing", "press 5 for balance", etc without losing what little patience I had left. More cussing. Then I tried the number of the store where I signed up for the service. All I got was a bad connection and no help. Guess what I said? Yep. Something I should've never said.

     I got in my car to drive to the store and talk to a real person. The whole way over I was thinking about how I was going to give someone a piece of my mind. Walking into the store, I was ready for anything ... except for the kind, courteous service and precise answers to my questions. No yelling, wildly waving arms, or nasty words needed on my part. Yes, I need to let God help me with my temper. Blessing one was the nice man who helped me get the answers I needed.

     Since I was already at the mall, I decided to stop in the bookstore. I went in mostly for research for my book proposal, but I found a couple Christian novels that sound really cool and I bought them. Funny thing is, when my book gets published (one of these days), those authors will be my "competitors". After paying for my books, I asked the woman behind the counter if the store ever promotes books written by local authors. Yes they do. In fact, the manager loves to have them come into the store for a meet and greet with the readers and do book signings. The manager even advertises the event in the local papers. VERY COOL! With my new books in hand, the name of the manager and some research notes on a piece of paper, I left the mall in a better mood than I'd been in all day. Blessing two, God switched my gears and helped me do something more important than grumbling and complaining.

     When I lose my patience and start cussing, I'm a bonehead. The great thing is, God loves me anyway and will show me that love by sending small blessings into my life.

     Thank you Father.

     Ok. My first dating experience in years ended as quickly as it started. How long is "years"? Oh ... about 20. I don't regret taking the chance and I did remember one thing about dating which always frustrated me in the past. As you can tell by the length of time I've been off the dating scene, I'm probably not considered a dating expert, yet I want to share this tidbit with you.

     Both sides in the dating relationship need to say exactly what they mean and then stick to it. As far as I'm concerned, what you say to the other person can be equated to a promise. And one thing I despise is when someone breaks a promise. If you tell a person you want to know all about them, there are a few things you need to do.

     1) If you ask the person about their hobbies, religion, or anything else, be prepared to carefully listen to the answer. This means being fully attentive.

     2) Getting to know the other person does NOT mean telling them all about yourself and simply wanting to know if the other person likes the same things. It means sharing yourself and allowing the other person to share themself.

     3) When the person tells you about something they enjoy doing, do NOT brush them off because it doesn't interest you. Also, even if you think it's a "waste of time", the other person may think it's the most important thing in their life.

     4) Just because you don't like a particular hobby, event, etc, never try to convince the other person they should give up the hobby, event, etc. unless it's something which is going to kill them or get them into legal trouble.

 

     So why am I offering this advice? I think if you're dating someone who's a non-attentive, brush you off kind of person, that should be a clue things aren't going to work out.

     I also figured out there's certain things the "dating experts" tell you not to discuss until you've known the person for a few weeks that should be discussed right away. Anyone who gives you advice that religion and politics is taboo until later in the relationship is nuts. Why? One thing you should never compromise is your religious beliefs, which are directly tied to the politics of the day. Don't put so much time and effort into developing a relationship only to find out after you're "head over heels in love" with the person that they find you a bad match based on your religious beliefs.

     I didn't get into a dating relationship so far it broke my heart when I found out there are things I hold dear which he couldn't accept. A non-patriotic pacifist is NOT going to be a good match for a super-patriot who believes there are acceptable uses of force. I'm not saying there isn't room for finding a middle ground without compromising either set of beliefs ... if those beliefs are a little closer in similarity. All I'm saying is these things need to be discussed early on and, if there's too great of a difference or you can't come to an understanding about how each person can retain their beliefs and still have a relationship, it's time to move on.

     I wanted to let you all know I'm not ignoring anyone. I've been busy checking emails for the rejection notices sent almost daily by literary agents and then sending out more.

     What does this have to do with dating? Well ... I spend my time on the computer to try to get my book in the hands of someone who will take it to a publisher, then get off the computer so I can talk on the phone without any disctractions. Dave and I were introduced by a "mutual friend" (I'll write more about this later) and we've talked several times on the phone. Finally, on Tuesday, we met for the first time. It really wasn't a date because we met at Burger King, we each paid for our own food, and we sat there and talked for three hours. Some people would call this a date, but I think it's more like a first meeting just to see each other in person. We're probably getting together this weekend to do something and that will be more like a date. But what do I really know, I haven't been on a real date in years.

     That's it for now. I just wanted to let you all know I haven't dropped off the face of the earth. I hope you all have a blessed weekend.

     Last night I created a profile at another site. One part of the profile ask for a short tagline, so I wrote "Plain wrapping. Wonderful heart." Later in the evening, I thought more about that tagline.

    When I was younger, I knew a woman who was a very close friend of our family. At Christmas time or on birthdays, she always bought something for the kids. While the parents, grandparents, and aunts and uncles would wrap the gifts they gave in brightly colored wrapping paper, this woman would hand each child a plastic shopping bag. It's true that the presents from the other people were "just what the child wanted", yet these small bags always contained a small gift that, while inexpensive, somehow meant so much more to the kids. I think the reason those gifts meant so much was because the children knew she gave those gifts, not from any feeling that she had to, but because she gave them as a way to show how much she loved those children.

    That line of thinking took me back to an even earlier Christmas. A child was born under very humble circumstances and most people couldn't figure out what made that baby such a "big deal". When told he would one day be a king, they laughed. How was it possible that the infant laying there, wrapped in a plain, indescript blanket be a king? It only seems to make sense that a king would be born to royalty, have a cradle in a large home surrounded by maids and nannies, and be wrapped in the most elegant and colorful blankets.

    So many people today look at the wrapping and automatically assume the best gift will be inside the box wrapped in the brightest paper. If someone hands them a plastic shopping bag, they seem to automatically assume there won't be anything of any worth inside. I'm not talking about the Christmas presents under the tree or the birthday presents around the cake. I'm talking about how we prejudge people based on their outward appearances. When some of us see a beautiful woman wearing the latest fashions, always having a smile on her face, we automatically think she must be happy. When we see a teenager with spiked hair, his lip and tongue are pierced, and wearing baggy jeans, we automatically label him a troublemaker. There are so many other examples I could list, but I won't. Just think about the number of times you've seen someone and automatically made an assumption about them and then, once you actually took the time to know them, you found out they weren't the person you thought they'd be based on what you see.

     The next time you're looking for someone who can be your friend, companion, or love of your life don't just look at the "wrapping". There's a saying that goes "great things come in small packages". There's another thing we should be saying ... "Friendship, companionship, and love may not be much to look at on the outide, but it's what's inside that's beautiful." The most caring, kind, and loving people I know came to me in plastic shopping bags.